It’s essential to be aware of,main and important points, in developing appropriate relation between parents and children below age of seven.Some of these points,are following:way of communicating to child, reaction and responses to appropriate and inappropriate demands of child,manner of confronting with mental problems of children.
?What are the most important ways of,encountering and relation with children,below age of seven
Generally,how parents confront and communicate with their child,develops children’s personality and it affects their ability to confront with problems and regulate,responses to different challenges,further in life. Most problems develops in this stage of life,is related to inappropriate demands.Children are stubborn,regarding their wishes to be satisfied and believe that mother and father should fulfill all of these wishes,In such situations the best way is talking to child and diverting her or his attention to other topics which ,parents are more interested in. When you talk to your child ,in situations,where they have Incorrect demands,instead of arguing, you have two important achievements,first; you are teaching your child,to become calm,while confronting with problems and to solve them,under the peaceful condition, Secondly; child learns to hold conversation,while he or she has any request or demand from you.
In Raz-e-Mandegar center,we have specialized psychologists,who work on psychological aspects of child and adolescent relationships with parents.To gain more information,regarding, best and substantial reactions and bahaviours with your chidren,contact our CHILD PSYCHOLOGISTS,any time.We are ready to help u 24 houres.
:More common cases in relation with children
Unfortunately,most parents are not aware of,proper ways of confronting with their child.So insteadof convincing child,that,at the poin, they are not able to fulfill all the requests and demands,they usually confront with child.As a consequence child become aggressive and stubborn.
Repetition of such behaviors,affects child’s mood.Child,loses sense of calm and a sense of security,that they should gain from family and home environment.Children think,for any demand,they should fight and argue with parents,to convince them,in order to achieve what they actually want.At this age child learns how to become independent and parents become role model for their child,Child tries to copy behavior, emotions and actions of parents.They imitate many actions from adults,in their privates ,such as wearing mother or father’s clothes or shoes, talking to imaginary person on phone and etc.
One of the best communication acts,among children below age of seven is, developing peers group and playing with friends. As a consequence they will learn ,how to form association and relationships in society and environmenst other than home.
Research findings on number of children,indicates, children living in peaceful home conditions, who have appropriate relations with parents,solve their problems and crisis in proper ways. Rather than arguing.Such children,have better interpersonal relationships and similarly,behave in the same manner in peer groups.They are able to develop,appropriate and acceptable social skills,in later life.
In this age,children show interest in drawing,if you want to know ,what is going on in your child’s mind and how he or she perceives interpersonal relation,ask child, to draw a family painting, you will be surprised to find out that,your child’s mind had recorded and registered everything،happened within family, Just like a machine.Everything that,child has observed ,is on the paper, for example,if child draws father with big ears, he or she has good ,auditory relation with father.Father listens,carefully to child. If their drawing includes,a smoke-stack, with a smoke exiting, indicates,child’s perception,of warm and friendly home environment.
?How to reinforce self-esteem in children
At this age,children have desire, to be visible and get compliment from parents.These factors are really important ,which increases and reinforces self-esteem of child. Child has feeling of independence.He thinks as, he has grown up,so it must be his words. He is full of expectation, because you love him,you should satisfy all his demands,Under such circumstances ,when confronting with parental objection,child states “you don’t love me.” At this position parentas, should talk very friendly to child and state repeatedly “we love you and you are important to us,you know your request is inappropriate.You had grown up and you know,whatever we do is to make you happy”. We should be aware that,children prefer to be praised by their parents. Such phrases as,”you know” and “you are aware of”,motivates,children to think about these phrases,when they have any demand later on in life.Instead of stubbornness,child will ask for their request,in an indicative form.Therefore,repetition of such procedures,strengthens imaginary skills of children.
At the age of 5,most of children, have desire to participate in discussions,held by parents.They enjoy,commenting on different affairs and issues.For example; you had decided to change your house or car.Your child is noticing conversation between parents.Child analysis,what he heard and will reveal ,exactly,your positive opinion about particular car or house,in his own words.By doing so,child has commented, as well as,proved to you,that it’s important for him,what makes you happy,In such situations,welcome your child,praise him.Always emphasize on the following statement”we are agree with your decision”.Such words, develops pleasent feeling in child.
In majority of the families,parents keep children away from issuses and affairs being discussed.They believe,children will talk about family problems and issues,during family gatherings and parties,So for preventing these problems,they don’t involve their kids in discussions.This problem can be solved,simply by,telling your child” This issue is private and it should be stay between us”.Child won’t recite the issue .This is best method,to teach children, how to be responsible for their actions.These behaviors,develops ,sense of responsibility ,security ,trusteeship and promising in children.
Don’t compare your kid with others.Children shouldn’t be compared,because comparison, decreases self-confidence and self-esteem,over a long period of time.
Child should be compared only by his or herself.Don’t use negative and destructive words or phrases,such as”how silly are you”.Parents are not allowed to, abuse children verbally.Parents who form positive relation with kids,hold conversation in calm and peaceful situations rather than making realation tense by comparison.
Comparison,make children frustrated and after some time,results in depression.Try to increase self-confidence in your kids by,praising and reinforcing them.After,appropriate behavior,when mistakes occurs,logically communicate with your child;”Your behavior was not acceptable,we expect you,to be responsible for your mistakes.Children should be thought,to accept responsibility of their actions,behaviors and emotions,either it’s right or wrong.They are not allowed to justify mistakes.In this way,they learn to apologize,when required.
Constantly,remind your kids,that they are important for you.So that they are aware, if something wrong happened,parents are supportive and stand beside them,not in front of them.
Advantage of strong relation,is in child’s comfort in communicating with parents, when grow up and confront with different problems ,first refer, to their parents,rather than stranger. During first 7 years of life,children are like plan, parents can help it to become strong,through managing their demands.kids should be assure that parents are not their enemies,they want their goodness
:Advise to parents
Keep your kid, free to play,don’t restrict them
Parents are first,model for child.Children learn a lot,by observing and imitate,by direct observation,rather than,what they are hearing,Do your best to be a good role model for them
Teach your children to thank,by thanking from each other in front of your kids
Children learn better,If they are thought, directly
Be aware of behaviors and spirits of your child.Confront, in ways,which are appropriate,according to child’s personalit
Don’t control your child
Overall,greater part of characters,mood and behavior of children are shaped,during the first seven years of life.At the same time,chidran’s personality is formed.It’s essential for every parent to develop,best realation with their children.
Translated and Arranged by:Kheyzaran Shahnehpour
Click on the word psychological counseling to download this article.